Wise Women Speak, 30 Things Everyone Should do before turning 30, Book of Ages 30, Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life, Woman x Turns Thirty,Turning 3, they all talk endlessly of the anticipation and anxiety associated with the Big 3-0s.
In anticipation of an event that will occur in another 4 years,I say it's time to ponder. Says Urmi Roychowdhury, an architect, “I used to think that turning 30 was one of the best things to happen to me, since I had the right mix of experience and foresight I thought the world was at my beck and call.” Howevever, she recalls with some discomfort the questions raised by friends and relatives who constantly reiterated how well and complete she’d be with a marriage. Some even went on to make objectionable remarks like, “Are you mentally stable, do you have a medical problem.” When her answer was a resounding ‘no,’ they’d add, “Why are you not married as yet, then?”
It isn’t just the stigma of turning thirty, but it has more to do with the question of turning thirty and not being married. For Priyanka Biswas, who is housewife and has a toddler, “Ifeverybody else all around you is cutting one another's throats, I prefer to opt out and enjoy doing a job that everyone else isn’t doing. For me it is motherhood and family that is important.” Priyanka tied the knot when she was twenty and she now has a kid and a blissful family of her own.
For some women, however, it’s about evaluating one’s personal and social choices, a time when one gazes inwards just to see if one is on the right track and if one is making the right choices in life. There’s a thrill of the chase for a career-orientated woman says Manpreet Pasricha, 30, a journalist. “I believe women are best married when they are independent and when they are ready for a relationship. I have a boyfriend but do not wish to tie the knot any time soon.” For 31-year Sreoshi Chatterjee, marriage isn’t an option, “I have been through enough bad relationships and I don’t believe I can make a good wife. However, I’d try to keep a positive mindset and get along to see what life has to offer.”
Likewise, the revelation of a breaking relationship was shattering for Sunetra Pathak, a child specialist in her early thirties, “I was in a steady relationship with my boyfriend and I popped him the all important question to tie the knot.” However, Sunetra’s boyfriend chickened out in the nick of time and said he wasn’t quite ready to start a family. “It was shattering for me to know that the person I had dreamed of sharing my life with slipped out at the time he thought right.” For her, getting married after a shattering relationship isn’t the best option. “I want to concentrate on the people who are around me right now, instead of building a new one.”
It’s not all doom and gloom for other city women like Avishikta Basu. Avishikta, 34, who runs her own business says, “I enjoy my work to the hilt and I, unfortunately, don’t consider myself as a loyal and trustworthy person, packaged with enough charm to be a faithful wife. I am better off as a singleton.” It isn’t always easy to shrug one’s shoulder and say one doesn’t wish to get married, specially with the gossip mongers. Says Shibani Sengupta, “I have two daughters, one aged 28 and the other approaching 31. People often ask me why my daughters aren’t married yet. I just say I give them the free will to choose a life they want to lead. It’s there call. However, if any of them can find me a nice bridgegroom, I’d gladly oblige. But, that doesn’t happen either.”
Some women are shrugged off as an additional burden on society and they end up being gossip scrums. Runa Paul is a mother of two and once divorced, “It bodes well for our future and also for building of a family life to decide what one wants”says the 34 year-old mother of two. No matter how much one coaxes me to get married;I just can’t throw caution to the wind.”
In keeping with the trend of the burgeoning over-thirty-and-unmarried population, Gul Panag has starred in a film Turning Thirty which is slated to release in January 2011. She explains on her blog how each actor in the film was turning thirty, while the film was being shot.
“If you are on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass analysing why you turned thirty and didn’t get married, it better you give your life a hard look.” Says, Rini Roy, a dermatologist in her mid- thirties. I believe there’s always a good time but even if it doesn’t happen, I won’t be ashamed to look at the mirror and say maybe it’s my haircolour, it’s my shoe size or even my broad face, but it’s okay. I am happy I turned thirty at last.”
In anticipation of an event that will occur in another 4 years,I say it's time to ponder. Says Urmi Roychowdhury, an architect, “I used to think that turning 30 was one of the best things to happen to me, since I had the right mix of experience and foresight I thought the world was at my beck and call.” Howevever, she recalls with some discomfort the questions raised by friends and relatives who constantly reiterated how well and complete she’d be with a marriage. Some even went on to make objectionable remarks like, “Are you mentally stable, do you have a medical problem.” When her answer was a resounding ‘no,’ they’d add, “Why are you not married as yet, then?”
It isn’t just the stigma of turning thirty, but it has more to do with the question of turning thirty and not being married. For Priyanka Biswas, who is housewife and has a toddler, “Ifeverybody else all around you is cutting one another's throats, I prefer to opt out and enjoy doing a job that everyone else isn’t doing. For me it is motherhood and family that is important.” Priyanka tied the knot when she was twenty and she now has a kid and a blissful family of her own.
For some women, however, it’s about evaluating one’s personal and social choices, a time when one gazes inwards just to see if one is on the right track and if one is making the right choices in life. There’s a thrill of the chase for a career-orientated woman says Manpreet Pasricha, 30, a journalist. “I believe women are best married when they are independent and when they are ready for a relationship. I have a boyfriend but do not wish to tie the knot any time soon.” For 31-year Sreoshi Chatterjee, marriage isn’t an option, “I have been through enough bad relationships and I don’t believe I can make a good wife. However, I’d try to keep a positive mindset and get along to see what life has to offer.”
Likewise, the revelation of a breaking relationship was shattering for Sunetra Pathak, a child specialist in her early thirties, “I was in a steady relationship with my boyfriend and I popped him the all important question to tie the knot.” However, Sunetra’s boyfriend chickened out in the nick of time and said he wasn’t quite ready to start a family. “It was shattering for me to know that the person I had dreamed of sharing my life with slipped out at the time he thought right.” For her, getting married after a shattering relationship isn’t the best option. “I want to concentrate on the people who are around me right now, instead of building a new one.”
It’s not all doom and gloom for other city women like Avishikta Basu. Avishikta, 34, who runs her own business says, “I enjoy my work to the hilt and I, unfortunately, don’t consider myself as a loyal and trustworthy person, packaged with enough charm to be a faithful wife. I am better off as a singleton.” It isn’t always easy to shrug one’s shoulder and say one doesn’t wish to get married, specially with the gossip mongers. Says Shibani Sengupta, “I have two daughters, one aged 28 and the other approaching 31. People often ask me why my daughters aren’t married yet. I just say I give them the free will to choose a life they want to lead. It’s there call. However, if any of them can find me a nice bridgegroom, I’d gladly oblige. But, that doesn’t happen either.”
Some women are shrugged off as an additional burden on society and they end up being gossip scrums. Runa Paul is a mother of two and once divorced, “It bodes well for our future and also for building of a family life to decide what one wants”says the 34 year-old mother of two. No matter how much one coaxes me to get married;I just can’t throw caution to the wind.”
In keeping with the trend of the burgeoning over-thirty-and-unmarried population, Gul Panag has starred in a film Turning Thirty which is slated to release in January 2011. She explains on her blog how each actor in the film was turning thirty, while the film was being shot.
“If you are on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass analysing why you turned thirty and didn’t get married, it better you give your life a hard look.” Says, Rini Roy, a dermatologist in her mid- thirties. I believe there’s always a good time but even if it doesn’t happen, I won’t be ashamed to look at the mirror and say maybe it’s my haircolour, it’s my shoe size or even my broad face, but it’s okay. I am happy I turned thirty at last.”
